Today, in the morning I was listening to the radio looking forward to the day then they announced that her royal sluttyness (Taylor Swift) is coming to Australia, totally killed my day
Because sometimes their lives are just too f***ed up.
The worst submissions of FMyLife are here.
Today, in the morning I was listening to the radio looking forward to the day then they announced that her royal sluttyness (Taylor Swift) is coming to Australia, totally killed my day
Today, my doctor informed me that the curvature of my penis was caused by “excessive masturbation during puberty”. Needless to say, he refused to shake my hand on the way out. FML
Today, im stuck smoking dro out of an alluminum pipe cause my stupid ass threw out my piece FML
Today, when I picked my date up and walked her to my Camaro, she yelled “A Corvette!” When I patiently explained that it was a Camaro, she replied, “A cawhatto?” FML
Today, I jacked off into some toilet paper and woke up the next morning to ants stealing my semen for food. Now my room is covered in ants. FML
Today, my mom bought me a new iPhone 5. I specifically asked for a white one but she got me a black one. FML
Today, I was in KFC in Jamaica. Apparently, KFC is the wealthiest fast food joint in Jamaica. In Jamaica, it is considered a five star restaurant. It was extremely crowded and there was over a one hour line. When I ordered apparently I took the last chicken wing. Everyone stared at me with anger FML
Today, I was thinking about the boy I saw at the park the day before the boy that randomly was dancing to musi I had put on and I went to a Service Station and put music on just like the day before and he got out of a car then another one of him did and they both started dancing. “Embarrassing FML”
I was sitting down the next thin I know people are drowning FML
Today, & from this day on, I WILL NEVER HAVE A TUMBLR ACCOUNT BECAUSE EVERY DAMN USERNAME IS ALREADY TAKEN! Sincerely, I’ve tried everything.
